Night's Embrace (Alter-Ego)

I bid farewell to sun set
And said hello to goodnight
Inhaled the sweet air
Of the illuminating night
To much of my surprise
I was undergoing transition
Like a werewolf to the moon
I became someone else on a mission
With the same brown face
And the same black pupils
Long fingers
And a taste on my tongue of honeysuckle
And a berry said to be venomous
I took a bite nonetheless

No one knows the change but I
And I'd like to keep it that way
But this whole other person
Is a hazard to myself
Like P!nk
"Don't let me get me"
I must pull the brakes
On this spiraling roller coaster
Of self-destruction
I must engage in battle
And do away with this raging hindering obstruction

This phantom takes over my mind and hides in my skin
Making it almost impossible
For an outsider to notice what's within
He borrows my charm
And gives it back to me by dawn
And smiles my smile
The good in me he mourns
He talks of lust, and sex, and love
And he cuss'
Mouth of a sailor
He's a rebel with no cause
Swear words spew out his lips
The way vomit does
He's fueled by unwelcomed desires coupled with my hearts inadequacies and self doubts
Feeding off of them
He knows what I'm all about
He is nosy he pricks and prods
Digging for truths
In my brain
Where lays hidden my deepest sorrows
Secrets of self loathe
And my leftover personals

For me he wants to give a toast:

Champagne in the air
He tells me he is a criminal
He will steal my mind and my body
And do away with my spirit
He says he doesn't need it
He tells me he will put me on a path
Where I will lose my way
He tells me tomorrow will be a very very dark day
He says he deciphers me easy
No matter how hard I try
I’m a riddle decoded
Give up, give up
On my back he wants me to lie
He tells me
You’re fighting a losing battle
So for me he gives a toast
Cheers to who I will become
Dangerous and lost of hope
One son of a gun
In a need of a pope

And with that he raises his glass
And smiles a smile I've never grinned
And this is where I begin
To take a deep look within
This is not I; the one who just grinned
I noticed this spirit of evil
Who else but the devil
Trying to break me down
Even with my same face
The color of brown
Attacking me at my lowest
In a time of need
But he didn't care for my spirit
If he had noticed it is resilient indeed

So I put my foot down
And told him that I have had enough
Of the wayward nights
Where he would suddenly pop up
Whispering naughty things
I wouldn't dare speak
At first I asked nicely
Would he leave me please?
Which was said so politely
But he bitched and moaned
He grew persistent and mighty
I told him if he's gonna fuck with me
He better tread lightly
And I must admit
It took me a while to get it
There were a few times I gave in
To his cat calls and desires
But one day I awoke
And fought off this addiction
Followed by a written prescription:

I must first start to love myself
With a powerful deep conviction

So I pulled myself out
Of the alluring fires
Where I was dazzled and bewitched
By the nylon lights
That was blinding me
And swayed by the smoke dancing before my eyes
Ignoring my inner cries
To break free from this self-incriminating fetter
I told myself over and over
That I could do so so much better
Instead of bidding farewell to sunset this time
I said a short goodbye to the darkness of the night; my alter ego
May you perish and keep the company of Hitler and all other evil people
I walked passed the devil
And asked him to pardon me
I will win this battle
I dared him to try me
It wasn't long before I found
The god in me
And I loved him fiercely
Mind body and spirit
Whole heartedly

Did You Know I Was Black?

Did you know I was black
Before I said it?
Before I called George W. Bush
A racist and meant it?
Did you know I was black
Before they put it on my birth
Certificate?
Before I was old enough
To decide on who or what I wanted to be represented
Did you know I was black
Through my style of writing?
Before you heard me speak with
So much conviction
With a force of lightning?
Did you know I was black
Before I voted for Obama
During the 2008 election?
Before they labeled me
And put me in the African
American Literature section?
Did you know I was black
Before you seen me
Speaking of unfair class system's
Oppression and poverty?
Before you heard me complaining
Of how much I get paid hourly?
Did you know I was black
When you heard me speak?
Before you realized how eloquently and articulate I was
Do you see what this black English vernacular
Does?
Did you know I was black
When you found out
I like watermelon and fried chicken?
Before you thought it was funny
To stereotype us as Aunt Jemima's,
Uncle Tom's
And what the hell is wrong with fried chicken?
Did you know I was black
From the black Jesus hanging up
On my wall
Because the bible says he was fair skinned
With the hair of wool...
Did you know I was black
Before you turned around to glare
At me and my friends due to our loud chatter?
Tell me now
Does all of this even fucking matter