They Say: "Trust Is like a Vase..."

*“Trust is like a vase.. once it's broken, though you can fix it the vase will never be same again.”*

When we decided we would be
What ultimately became what we were
I made the conscious decision
To trust you.
I mean stand by the teetering edge
And trust you...
Skydiving out the plane
With no parachute
I've even stood on one leg
And thought you had me
Cause I just knew if I'd fall
You would catch me
Having full confidence in you to not let me fall...

But baby, you let me fall...
hard

You've created this monster
I'm on beast mode
Facebook watcher
Twitter stalking
Can't just let it go
Can't get over this betrayal
... And maybe I never will
But I'm mad you turned me into
The old me
And I'm having a tough time
Shaking him up off me
He's clinging on
I'm a breast and a nipple
This person
He disturbed me
Like water to a ripple

And he knows more than you would
The crazy thoughts that consumed me
The ones that drove me
To pick up phones
And look through them
Show up unannounced
Cause I just knew
something
Was going on
Cause I didn't trust my lovers
I could have sworn they took to bed with another
So I would get on blackplanet...
Yes I said blackplanet!
And sign on their accounts
And I would read about
All their whereabouts
and discretions
Email after email
And I sat back and watched them fail
As I became more crazy than a dog in heat
Because I thought... So foolishly
That they loved me
Whole heartedly

Now I'm sitting here
With these bricks and cement
Building back up this wall
That all this time I have spent
Trying to break down
All this time trying to figure out
What to do with this wall
So cleverly built around my aching heart
I bulldozed it down
And it was hard to do that part
But I let that fear of flying go
And I let the wind blow
Between my fingers and my toes
I had trusted you with my all
For you to go downtown
With someone you didn't even care for

But I will forgive, I just can't forget
It’s like the pain
That just won't leave
In my lower back
They say time heals all wounds
And I'm going to let it do just that

Untitled

What happened to your
Strong will?
I grew bored of this world
You give me no thrill
When did you begin
To take things so seriously
Living life through another-
Vicariously
In this cinematic story
Where is the climax?
No story to tell
Of love lost
No romance
I cannot wait around
Sitting by the windowsill
Watching the weeds
Grow among the hedges
Knowing that when
I am decrepit
No longer up for it
I will regret
Not living my life

Night's Embrace (Alter-Ego)

I bid farewell to sun set
And said hello to goodnight
Inhaled the sweet air
Of the illuminating night
To much of my surprise
I was undergoing transition
Like a werewolf to the moon
I became someone else on a mission
With the same brown face
And the same black pupils
Long fingers
And a taste on my tongue of honeysuckle
And a berry said to be venomous
I took a bite nonetheless

No one knows the change but I
And I'd like to keep it that way
But this whole other person
Is a hazard to myself
Like P!nk
"Don't let me get me"
I must pull the brakes
On this spiraling roller coaster
Of self-destruction
I must engage in battle
And do away with this raging hindering obstruction

This phantom takes over my mind and hides in my skin
Making it almost impossible
For an outsider to notice what's within
He borrows my charm
And gives it back to me by dawn
And smiles my smile
The good in me he mourns
He talks of lust, and sex, and love
And he cuss'
Mouth of a sailor
He's a rebel with no cause
Swear words spew out his lips
The way vomit does
He's fueled by unwelcomed desires coupled with my hearts inadequacies and self doubts
Feeding off of them
He knows what I'm all about
He is nosy he pricks and prods
Digging for truths
In my brain
Where lays hidden my deepest sorrows
Secrets of self loathe
And my leftover personals

For me he wants to give a toast:

Champagne in the air
He tells me he is a criminal
He will steal my mind and my body
And do away with my spirit
He says he doesn't need it
He tells me he will put me on a path
Where I will lose my way
He tells me tomorrow will be a very very dark day
He says he deciphers me easy
No matter how hard I try
I’m a riddle decoded
Give up, give up
On my back he wants me to lie
He tells me
You’re fighting a losing battle
So for me he gives a toast
Cheers to who I will become
Dangerous and lost of hope
One son of a gun
In a need of a pope

And with that he raises his glass
And smiles a smile I've never grinned
And this is where I begin
To take a deep look within
This is not I; the one who just grinned
I noticed this spirit of evil
Who else but the devil
Trying to break me down
Even with my same face
The color of brown
Attacking me at my lowest
In a time of need
But he didn't care for my spirit
If he had noticed it is resilient indeed

So I put my foot down
And told him that I have had enough
Of the wayward nights
Where he would suddenly pop up
Whispering naughty things
I wouldn't dare speak
At first I asked nicely
Would he leave me please?
Which was said so politely
But he bitched and moaned
He grew persistent and mighty
I told him if he's gonna fuck with me
He better tread lightly
And I must admit
It took me a while to get it
There were a few times I gave in
To his cat calls and desires
But one day I awoke
And fought off this addiction
Followed by a written prescription:

I must first start to love myself
With a powerful deep conviction

So I pulled myself out
Of the alluring fires
Where I was dazzled and bewitched
By the nylon lights
That was blinding me
And swayed by the smoke dancing before my eyes
Ignoring my inner cries
To break free from this self-incriminating fetter
I told myself over and over
That I could do so so much better
Instead of bidding farewell to sunset this time
I said a short goodbye to the darkness of the night; my alter ego
May you perish and keep the company of Hitler and all other evil people
I walked passed the devil
And asked him to pardon me
I will win this battle
I dared him to try me
It wasn't long before I found
The god in me
And I loved him fiercely
Mind body and spirit
Whole heartedly

Did You Know I Was Black?

Did you know I was black
Before I said it?
Before I called George W. Bush
A racist and meant it?
Did you know I was black
Before they put it on my birth
Certificate?
Before I was old enough
To decide on who or what I wanted to be represented
Did you know I was black
Through my style of writing?
Before you heard me speak with
So much conviction
With a force of lightning?
Did you know I was black
Before I voted for Obama
During the 2008 election?
Before they labeled me
And put me in the African
American Literature section?
Did you know I was black
Before you seen me
Speaking of unfair class system's
Oppression and poverty?
Before you heard me complaining
Of how much I get paid hourly?
Did you know I was black
When you heard me speak?
Before you realized how eloquently and articulate I was
Do you see what this black English vernacular
Does?
Did you know I was black
When you found out
I like watermelon and fried chicken?
Before you thought it was funny
To stereotype us as Aunt Jemima's,
Uncle Tom's
And what the hell is wrong with fried chicken?
Did you know I was black
From the black Jesus hanging up
On my wall
Because the bible says he was fair skinned
With the hair of wool...
Did you know I was black
Before you turned around to glare
At me and my friends due to our loud chatter?
Tell me now
Does all of this even fucking matter

Jasmine Mans "Nicki Minaj"

Jasmin Mans spoken word on Nicki Minaj entitled "Nicki Minaj" One. I absolutely love this poem! This woman is asking for more out of Nicki being a black female MC. I can respect that. In fact we were studying this same sort of aesthetic recently in the form of black art in my class. Although I think people put to much expectation on one female to represent woman as a whole. That is just impossible. Nicki is no Queen Latifa, nor Lauryn Hill nor would we appreciate her if she was a copy of such.

Check out the lyrics to Jasmin Mans poem below:

You are being traded paper in exchange for you to be plastic

All Dolls will eventually mal-function

(I don’t even know why you girls bother at this point like give it up, it ‘s me I win you lose)

Nicki MInaj,

(It’s me)

I must admit

(Its, its me)

I have always been intrigued by your ass,

I guess that’s what the world looked like after falling from your shoulders.

(Like give it up)

You have the heartbeat of a suicide bomber

A baseline breathing out of your pulse

Your thighs play storage for the weight of the world

I dreamt that you used to back pack, the lost raps, of Female MCs who could not find their way out the cipher

(Its just like I single handedly annihilated like every rape bitch in the building)

Traded in your crown for unsharpened pencils and blank CDs

(Like give it up)

Do you ever feel a cord gripping on your neck, choke, spit?

Don’t let this industry f*ck the Assata out of you

(Harijuku-Barbie)

Can and will never be code for queen

You are a Queen no matter how many times they try to shuffle you back in tape decks.

Bi Sex, straight, you’ve earned my respect

(You da Bestest)

But I know your spine binds and crooked lines

And you can’t seem to write a rhyme for your broken daughters

Slaughter, bent over back, ass cracked, bitch slapped, in videos

There is nothing pedal bike pretty about broken

Do you know what this media is trying to do to you?

They will porcelain

(Barbie)

Doll the shit out of you

Leave you noose necked hanging from Zion they will Lauryn Hill you

The mis-education of a Barbie doll coming soon

(I just had an epiphany)

Barbie, I think NYC is making you forget you come from Queens

Its scary when you have wack MCs trying to ghost write your obituary

(You should buy a 16 cuz I write it good)

Your existence is not recyclable to me

(Barbie)

Stop spitting me toy stories

Of Woodys and Buzzlight Years who only come alive when no body is watching

Fake breast

Once upon a time before puberty and tissue filled training bras all little girls wanted a toy chest

What do you treasure? *

You have turned your G-spot into a land-mind

Dirty, disgusting

We have been waiting centuries for a woman like you to carve your stiletto in history

This microphone is not a dildo so you are going to have to cum a little harder than that,

(I, win, I win, you lose)

Come a little harder for rap

Too many women before you have laid down tracks — UNIT…Y?

So you wouldn’t have to record your on your back

Spit some shit it for girls who kiss girls and got beat down to their backs

We will remember you for that

Lips sync your screams and remember your inflections and copyright your raps

MC

(Barbie)

For young money anyone can buy themselves their own ( I’m Nick Minaj, Nicki Lewinski, Nicki Barbie, the boss)

Crown, Vagina, Womanhood, and Talent,

All Sold separately

(Barbie)

You are being stabbed in the back

Inserted with a wind up string and a tag?

(R, R, R, Roger that)

Yo Te Amabas

Listen to the Spanish guitar
As it plays
The un-resounding, unrelenting
Sufferings of my heart
Hear the chords of a song
Filled with pain
Of a dying love
Watch the blood pour
And let it stain the pavements
And watch me walk away
As it dries
Past this hurt
This pain
Strum someone else’s strings
I'm out of tune
All I have left are
Songs of sorrow
And blues
Balido...
Y nunca volverá

Die Nigga, Die

Death to the stereotypes
That spread false propaganda
Die Nigga, Die
Death for the neglecting
Fathers
For procreating bastards
From their abandoned seeds
Break this broken family structure
And let us get back to basics
Die Nigga, Die
Death to the projects
Built with the intent that nothing goes in
Nothing goes out
Hoping that my people will
Step out of the constricting hindering box that is all that they know
Die Nigga, Die
Death to this walking crutch
Called welfare
We must all wean ourselves from our mother’s breast at some point
Die Nigga, Die
Death to us playing the victim
Slavery ended years ago
And here we are centuries later
And still placing blame on slavery
When we have a black president in the white house
Let us be proud of our race
Although we were promised 40 acres and a mule
Let us not dwell on what we could have had
We have come from dirt
And prospered enough to say
That we don't constitute the majority percentage of what makes up poverty in this country
We are not victims
We are descendants of African warriors
Let's us clasp our spears
And hold them up high
Die Nigga, Die
Death to self-doubt
We must all aspire to do better so that we can be better
Die Nigga, Die
Death to abortion
So that we can celebrate new life
Die Nigga, Die
Death to us black men who attempt to break down a black woman
They have carried our families in their womb
And did our labor in our absence
Let the black woman in all of her scorn not beat down the black man
Alienating him from his home, his children
Learn to kill off vindictiveness
The most important thing is the child
If you can work it out, great
If not then accept that you had your time, you put in the effort
It did not work
And move on
Die Nigga, Die
Death goes out to ignorance
So that my people can value the significance of receiving higher education and appreciate the many opportunities we are granted if we seek higher learning
Die Nigga, Die
Death to procrastination
We must realize this is our only oppression
Die Nigga, Die
Death to Bill O' Reilly
So that those who breed racism and hatred can no longer exist
Die Nigga, Die
Death to insecurities within the black community
Let us love and celebrate our voluptuous shapes and varied sizes
Let us embrace our color spectrum of complexions and know that we are all united
Let us love our hair. Know that black hair is beautiful
Die Nigga, Die
Death to the bullying and prejudices
Accept all walks of life and use this as an opportunity to learn
People fear what they do not know,
And how do we learn to understand
What we don't know?
We educate ourselves and kill ignorance
So die nigga, die
Death to gangs, violence and law breaking
Gangs are senseless attempts to feel acceptance, when the person who really needs to accept you is you
Learn how to effectively communicate
And eliminate your fists from your vocabulary. Talk it out.
The Jail system currently has enough black men housed
Let's do something different and break these patterns.
Die Nigga, Die
Death to the promiscuity in our community
Let us evaluate the real issue of giving ourselves out so freely
Inadequacy and insecurities
Death to turning on one another
Since slavery we have been each other’s enemy
Let us help one another out
Extend a helping hand
And offer a shoulder to lean on
Die Nigga, Die
Death to drugs and drug dealers
Let us enlighten ourselves
On why drugs really plague and pose an epidemic in our communities
Drugs were injected into our communities to kill ourselves off
Much like the natives of Africa
Who were fed armory to go at war with one another
Tell me what black man was traveling to Columbia and South Korea to get these drugs
To sell to our own people?
The government implemented drugs into our communities in hopes to kill off our race. We acted on the roles of puppet and master. Guess which role we played.
Death to STD's and AIDS
Death to the nigga,
So that our ancestors who were killed for such words haven't died in vein
Die Nigga, Die

Some Days

Some days I think
You don't even notice me
Don't notice the breeze
The leaf blowing across the street.

Some days I think
You don't notice my smile
But how could you
when the last time I saw you has been a while?

Some days you don't see the tears
welling in my eyes
So why would I expect you to know
that I have cried?
And some days it feels like
I am crying underwater,
but whats the use of tears
if they never fall?

Then there are days
when I see the light
you hold me and make sure
everything is alright
and there are days
where you wipe my face
you look in my eyes
and I wonder why
I even cried.

Janelle Monae- The Archandroid

Janelle Monae is Amazing. I actually have her album, "The Archandroid," on repeat at the moment. I can't help but think of Lauryn Hill as I am listening to her. Don't get me wrong though. Ms. Monae is no copycat. She has a style and rhythm all of her own, a far departure from Ms. Hills work, but there are some noticeable similarities in their voices. Here I wanted to share her new video "Cold War" which I was blown away by. Enjoy~!

Why Is Kanye West Racist?

KanYe took to UStream earlier this evening to answer questions and discuss past and present work, his inspiration for his 90 second clip for his first single "POWER" and a slew of other topics. One person asked him why he was racist. Here is what Ye had to say:

“I don’t know a rapper before me that liked white people more than me. I don’t know a rapper that wore tighter jeans. I don’t know a rapper that collaborated with more white people. I know what it is that I did that made people put it in a box like that but it never came from a place of racism. I’m not going to dial into that but I would just like to say in no way am I a racist. Sometimes it frustrates me when people call me names and try to down me like I’m not a real human being. A Lot of times when I talk extremely cocky, I’m not talking about myself, I’m talking about the work. I think people should be proud of their work or they should never put it out. All I can do is take time and be a better person….. It’s no more time to be a rude asshole, celebrity or none of that. It’s about the art. I’m not allowing my attitude to get in the way of my creation anymore. I had to change my attitude completely and now my statement is only of amazing work."

Kanye said something in this piece that truly spoke to me. "I think people should be proud of their work or they should never put it out." With all of the flack he gets about being egotistical and always bragging about his work, he is so right. So what if he brags a little more than any other artist and so what if he's not modest. The man's work is genius. This quote also inspired me to be a little more confident in my own writing. If you don't believe in yourself who will?

Check out his new new video "POWER" below:

Religion

There is neither heaven nor hell-
Well...
I believe heaven and hell
Is right here
Right on this earth
And I truly believe that I knew this
Since birth
With this waging war between good and evil
And this split
Between malevolent and benevolent people
And everything in between that's going on
We all know the difference
Between our rights and wrongs

I believe in a god.
He is in me and you
I believe he is in everything beautiful
Anything true
And absolute.
And Lucifer
I believe in him too
He breeds darkness and hatred
In empty souls
That can take it.
Bill O' Reilly he's the devil
Even though you might see him
Trying to fake it.
And that bad ass kid in the subway
Trying to kill that pigeon
Well he has the devil in him too.
And it so happens Lucifer owns
Fox 5 news

I don't know if I necessarily believe
In reincarnation.
That I once was a
Caterpillar or a butterfly
Undergoing a Transformation
Or if in my past life
I was a man
Who was married
And had a wife

And so what if the Jews lied
Of how many people who have died
Oppression is oppression
We all have seen each other cry

And I'm sorry I just can't believe
The bogus folklore of Christianity
That was a religion given to the black community
All throughout slavery
Taught to us by the "merciful" missionaries.
Which taught us to pray for our pie in the sky
While the white man reaps his heaven on earth
That the bible is a be all, say all,
Chauvinistic, homophobic,
Literary work.
Filled with fables and fairytales
That goes against what's taught in scientology
And no I'm no Tom Cruise
But the bible sure does remind me of Greek mythology.

And no I don't think that the practice of Islam is evil
At the end of the day I think religion is beautiful and pure
What fucks it up is the people.

All That We Did

I know I have a bad case of writers block
But I'm just going to vent from what lays dormant in my heart...

Our past night spent with one another
Took me by surprise
And put you in my bed
Lips interlocking and heart pounding
So hard
I could feel it in my head
Memories ran fluid through my mind streaming past as if it were yesterday
As if you and I had just met
On that hot summers day
And as our story unfolded
No one could have told me that
We wouldn't be together
At the end of that very day
So when the tables turned
And you later learned
That I was swept away
You had me thinking the whole time that everything was A-okay

But it wasn't.

Like a grape left sitting out
My situation turned sour
And the moment I turned to you
Things were different
You had the upper hand
You held the power
The claim to your heart
Proved itself to be unsuccessful
I was adamant
But you remained recalcitrant

For a while...

Broken-hearted
I took doses of you
You were my fulfillment
A temporary supplement
But I held back to prevent you from becoming my
Substitute lover
I knew if we fucked up
There would be no do overs

But when I had decided
To let go and give in
To this unresolved, unrelenting love
Your vague interpretations left me un-mended
And when I called you oblivious
I had meant it

I cannot remember how we repaired it
But here we are
Right back where we had left at
Tasting on your bottom lip
Reminiscing on
All that we did.

Ms. Tina

Tina was a bitch
I wish I knew that
She was a bitch
Before I put my lips to it
She had no heart
But so much soul
And took anybody she had any control
Over
Misconstrued
‘cause as I was used
I abused
In the end it came to who would lose

I was lost
I had thought
That I was the shit
And maybe it was her
That was the cause of it
Making me feel
On top of the world
It came to be
She was my only girl

The sad part was
That I needed her
I breathed her in
She breathed me out
She came to life
This is what we were about

We were symbiotic
But she was toxic
Slowly killing
So erotic

I remember many nights when
I watched her dancing
In the room
She consumed
I assumed
It was seduction
That left me weak
No objection
No words to speak

She changed my thinking
Altered my mind
Mass consumption
Left me blind
It was a matter of time
Before I left her
Decided it was time
To live happily ever after.

Damaged Goods- as is

Scars on the skin will heal,
But the scars left on the heart
Are marked with a reverberative pain that burns in my chest.

Damned be the one
Who broke me into
Shattered hazardous pieces.
I am a malfunctioned hot mess
Just another statistic left in the damaged goods section,
My last owner didn't take care of what was once belonging to them.
Leaving me Incomplete,
But only a few pieces missing.
You can take me as is,
And deal with the repercussions
Or Dodge this bullet
Thatll be end of discussion.

My past haunts me in my nightmares.
Subconsciously reminding me
Of what my ex did  
How do you let go if everything is a remeniscence?
How am I still feeling pain from a relationship already ended?
Walking around still
Battered and bruised
Dazed and confused
damaged and used.

Before this begins I must inform my next ex.
Let me turn my hazard lights on
Don't say I never warned you
I wear all my flaws on my forehead
Like a bottled prescription
Here is my instructions:

YOU MAY BEGIN RECEIVING SEVERE MIGRAINS DUE TO AGGRIVATION OF CONSTANT ACCUSATIONS. THIS BEING A RESULT TO A PREVIOUS HEARTBREAK AND A LOST OF TRUST. IF 3 MONTHS CONTINUES AND NO CHANGE SEND TO A DOCTOR IMMEDIATELY. PREFERRABLY A SHRINK.

And please do continue reading on to the fine print:

PRODUCT HAS BEEN REPORTED TO RAMBLE AT TIMES ABOUT A LOVER FROM THE PAST, THAT DID HIM DIRTY. IF YOU EXPERIENCE ANY SIGN OF THIS SWIPE THE PRODUCT ACROSS THE HEAD WITH A QUICK JILTED SMACK AND IT WILL COME BACK TO THE PRESENT REALITY.

Give me your patience
We can put myself back together
One piece at a time
Enlighten me with your wisdom
Teach me how to love you better
Show me a little optimism
Let me know you believe
Taking slow but steady steps,
Gradually working on making me complete.

Connotation

Pricks to the fingertips
For reaching too far
Blistering from the cold
Light me unto flames
In the wintertime
And watch me burn
As the smoke arises
From the ashes
I hope to
Bring tears of benevolent
Revelations
As you forget every word
That was mentioned
And see right through to my
Every intention

The Mighty Heart

My mighty heart was out to prove that it had courage. My heart wanted to prove that it could beat on its own, that it had strength so formidable that it could bare a power, which would only be shown if I allowed. This plucked my interest immediately. I was always aware of how significant my heart was. I always knew as long as it continued to beat, and it kept the constant flow of blood moving throughout my veins, I would be alive. I also knew that it was my heart that holds all that is my love, compassion and pain. I did not know it for all its potential though. I have always been very guarded leaving my heart very limited. Through all of my experiences of matters that dealt with my heart I have noticed how resilient it was. This heart knows how to pick up right where it was left and to keep on beating. As it pumped blood through my veins of a heated passion I could feel how strongly it had a need to show all that it was capable of. I had trusted in my heart.

My heart skipped a beat and jumped. My heart fluttered and leapt up out of my chest, and I allowed myself to take that chance. I let it take the lead, and with this bold decision I learned a valuable lesson:


The problem with allowing your heart to lead the way in life came down to the most obvious set back. It stuck out like a sore thumb, yet I somehow overlooked it. The element that makes the heart so significant later had become its own downfall in the end. The heart approaches every situation based on emotion. Draped like an ornament right around my sleeve, my heart showed everything I was feeling. I Did things I would never have thought of, and that was exactly the biggest con of using my heart solely. I was doing things I never thought of! I allowed my heart to lead me in my actions and decisions. I had set aside my brain as a secondary tool; a backup plan. I wasn't thinking. I wasn't using the powerful and knowledgeable brain I had so often relied on in the past. Without the brain and it's conscience to no longer filter out and monitor the things that I say or do I was, as you can so eloquently put it, an emotional wreck. It wasn't long before I found myself and the one to blame, my heart, knee deep in too much trouble.

The heart is often responsible for many thoughtless actions such as a lustful affair with a married someone, or telling a person how you really feel. (This isn’t always such a great idea I came to find out later.) Last but definitely not least, the heart manages to almost always get involved into situations you have nothing to do with because it tends to care too much. The heart is not mindful! My heart can be a tad bit boisterous at times. It holds nothing back.

See the heart doesn't think. The heart feels. The heart is a risk taker, a spontaneous vessel in which you never know what it’s set out to do next. The heart is a powerful entity that needs to be controlled; Limited. It tends to look over all consequences when it makes these emotionally driven decisions that can lead to trouble.

I run into plenty of people who live their lives this way, making decisions from the heart solely. I have learned though to make a well thought out conscientious decision in your life it involves a combination of things. You must use your brain. While your heart acts out of pure emotion, basing life off of feeling, your brain is the logic. The brain is that bright light of clarity that brings everything into perspective and would tell you when your heart is acting out. You must trust what you know! Then there is your trusty intuition. Always follow your intuition. Your intuition is like the humans 6th sense. I have wormed my way out of a few situations following my first intuition. If I don’t feel right about something it’s not happening. The body just knows certain things. Always keep a clean ear to listen to your conscience when it speaks to you. Every mentally healthy human being knows their rights from wrongs.

The heart can so often be fickle, and fast moving. It starts getting your blood pumping and you are off, it’s just automatic. It has proven itself to be a force to be reckoned with for sure, but with control, using the other elements I discussed previously, the hearts full potential is limited. The heart is quick to make decisions based on feeling, but we all know we can't always go by just our feelings alone. What a selfish and chaotic world we would live in. There would be a huge spike in menaces to the society, and people will do whatever it is they want to do, just for the simplistic and idiotic reason of them feeling like it.

My advice, before you take that jump, before you take that leap and before you do what it is that your heart tells you, think with your brain. Go over all consequences before you make that quick impulsive decision with your heart. Also a life isn’t a life with a couple risks. It’s up to that person to figure out how much that risk will cost you, and if you can handle the outcome.

In most cases, if not all, you have to choose your smarts over a spark. Don't let others make you think otherwise.

Live your life-logically thinking.

Love vs. Pride

**Following my recent pattern of storytelling in depth scenarios of relations dealing with men and women, I bring you my newest poem Love vs. Pride. Its a sort of tugging war that, I think everyone has had some type of experience in. It all comes down to which one would you be willing to sacrifice over the other. Love or Pride? Enjoy!**

"Am I ready to risk it all?
For love has got no ego.
Even while knowing this
Every time I am ready to give unto you
Pride holds me down like shackles.
Bolting me firmly to the ground.
I am a prisoner of this foolery
and yet I know it.
But I'm not willing to give up on my dignity
for love,
and have this lost battle weighing down on me heavily.
Having my self-righteousness
Sticking out its tongue and taunting me.
You, of course, will make matters worse,
as you say those words,
In a voice so sure of yourself,

"I told you so."

Do not tell me there is no winner or loser when it comes to love.
If I give in and declare you to be right
you would be holding me by the balls.
Castrating me.
Making me feel less of a man.
So I pout my lips and fold my arms.
Stubborn as an ass
I'm not budging.
I sneak a look to watch you pack your bags
As you threaten me that you’re leaving

Should I let you tear out my back bone,
and take the two feet that I stand on
Just to keep you here and content?
Will I be looking back, years from now,
with just myself and my regrets?
Replaying in my head
My shoulda, coulda, woulda’s
of all the things I never said,
Or the thing I never did to stop you?
That I didn't tell you that I love you,
That I want you
And you’re the one person that I want to marry.
What if we only get one chance at this big love?
Who will be at a lost
If we both walked away?
Will I begin to resent every woman here on after?
because there would be way too much contrasting and not enough comparison.

If this situation
So happens to
End in heartbreak,
And I needed someone
To fill the cold haunting emptiness
That you had left behind,
I wouldn’t want to get to know
Someone else
I already know you.

"Stop," I say so thunderous that
My voice echoed an underlying desperation
Through out the room.
I grab you by the arm
And prevent you from leaving.
I know if you left now
There is no way to rewind time like a VHS.
There would be no getting back
No second chance.
So I have to say it.
Right here.
Right now.
I have no other choice.
Ignoring my evil conscience
Hovering over my left shoulder.
I hesitate as the words slip out of my mouth
In such a low monotonous sound
that I didn't think I was audible.
"I love you,"
but she heard,
Because as the words quickly escaped the confines of my mouth,
Tears welled up in her eye.
This was all she needed to hear.
Indication that I really care
just a confirmation of what I truly feel.
An emotion I was denying as if it was a mistress.
And if I let her go I know I would have missed this...
I feel like a man who came clean, doing grown man things
and no longer an adolescent adult still stuck in my youth.
I can breathe!
I set myself free
peeling back the tough skin
And the hard edged persona
That just was not me.

I know now that you should set aside your ego for love.
Enough with the egocentric ideas
I flip the bird to egotism,
because I have been
straight ego-tripping.
When all is said and done
and the smoke thins out and the air clears,
wherever there is a raging battle of Love vs. Pride
there is always one that succeeds over the other.
Love reigns as the one and only undefeated Champion,
And If off of a whimsical thoughtless decision you do decide
to choose your own pride
over the one you love
In the words of Lauryn Hill, “Ya Just Lost One”

Tell Me A Story

Tell me a story
A grand story
No fairy tales or lies
I only want truth in this story
I want an enchanting story
Keep me at the edge of my seat
With something compelling
I want to hurl with laughter
Because I find this story
Outrageously funny
Tears well-up in my eyes
When the story becomes touching
I want to be enthralled
With its charm and wit
I want to become so scared
That I find myself drenched in sweat
When you tell of earthquakes and disasters
I want to feel the earth shatter
When you speak of the sun rising
And morning dew
I want to hear the finches sing
To feel the rush
Of jumping out of a burning plane
Without a parachute
Feel the excitement
Of sprinting down the freeway
While an uncontrollable
Eighteen-wheeler pickup truck
Is full speed headed toward me
I want to feel the heat
Of the fiery flames
I want to be wet
By the pelting rain
I want to feel the soil
Synched between my toes
Tell me a story
A grand story
No fairy tales or lies
But if fairy tales and lies
I want a grand story
Filled with fantasy
That I can learn from

Frozen In The Moment

Can I stop your heart
And live in this moment forever?
Bend space and time
Hold off on continuity all together.
Let us
You and I
Put a stop on the flow of time
And cherish every moment of this
This fleeting romance

Frozen in our lustful laden tracks
Give me your frost bitten kiss
Let me hold you in my loving
Embrace for an eternity
For this moment let’s feel absolute.

I want you to stay right there
Me, right here.
Let me admire your
Crystallized form of perfection.

I just saw you yesterday
And have you in my arms today
I don’t want these feelings to ever
Go away

I Loved The City, But The City Didn’t Love Me

I asked for morning sun rays
Instead she gave me morning showers
I expected to come outside and walk through grass
Trees and daisies
Those expectations were replaced with barren land
And concrete ground
I opened my arms to welcome the fresh air from the outdoors
And coughed up fumes and gas