They Say: "Trust Is like a Vase..."

*“Trust is like a vase.. once it's broken, though you can fix it the vase will never be same again.”*

When we decided we would be
What ultimately became what we were
I made the conscious decision
To trust you.
I mean stand by the teetering edge
And trust you...
Skydiving out the plane
With no parachute
I've even stood on one leg
And thought you had me
Cause I just knew if I'd fall
You would catch me
Having full confidence in you to not let me fall...

But baby, you let me fall...
hard

You've created this monster
I'm on beast mode
Facebook watcher
Twitter stalking
Can't just let it go
Can't get over this betrayal
... And maybe I never will
But I'm mad you turned me into
The old me
And I'm having a tough time
Shaking him up off me
He's clinging on
I'm a breast and a nipple
This person
He disturbed me
Like water to a ripple

And he knows more than you would
The crazy thoughts that consumed me
The ones that drove me
To pick up phones
And look through them
Show up unannounced
Cause I just knew
something
Was going on
Cause I didn't trust my lovers
I could have sworn they took to bed with another
So I would get on blackplanet...
Yes I said blackplanet!
And sign on their accounts
And I would read about
All their whereabouts
and discretions
Email after email
And I sat back and watched them fail
As I became more crazy than a dog in heat
Because I thought... So foolishly
That they loved me
Whole heartedly

Now I'm sitting here
With these bricks and cement
Building back up this wall
That all this time I have spent
Trying to break down
All this time trying to figure out
What to do with this wall
So cleverly built around my aching heart
I bulldozed it down
And it was hard to do that part
But I let that fear of flying go
And I let the wind blow
Between my fingers and my toes
I had trusted you with my all
For you to go downtown
With someone you didn't even care for

But I will forgive, I just can't forget
It’s like the pain
That just won't leave
In my lower back
They say time heals all wounds
And I'm going to let it do just that

Untitled

What happened to your
Strong will?
I grew bored of this world
You give me no thrill
When did you begin
To take things so seriously
Living life through another-
Vicariously
In this cinematic story
Where is the climax?
No story to tell
Of love lost
No romance
I cannot wait around
Sitting by the windowsill
Watching the weeds
Grow among the hedges
Knowing that when
I am decrepit
No longer up for it
I will regret
Not living my life